Nothing makes you learn faster or research more thoroughly than when your child’s life depends on it. I have vetted and applied every single recommendation I make, whether it’s a book, a service, or an alternative therapy. But none of this replaces or serves as actual medical or counseling advice. Please do seek appropriate guidance from a licensed practitioner and if you are in an emergency situation, please call 911. We cannot be responsible for reactions to material posted here, nor can we provide response to emergency situations or emergency phone calls.
Here is a list of resources I am already associated with;
The ChildTrauma Academy (CTA) is a not-for-profit organization working to improve the lives of high-risk children through direct service, research and education. After our accident, Bruce Perry, then chief of psychiatry of Texas Children’s Hospital, worked with our family. In 2005, I was invited to be a ChildTrauma Academy Fellow. I am fortunate to be a part of his team, I want to highlight the amazing work Bruce has done to help us all understand the impact of childhood trauma.
*Bo’s Place exists to offer support and community to those who have experienced the death of a loved one. A non-profit, free-of-charge bereavement center, Bo’s Place offers multiple grief support services for adults, children and families, and provides education and resources for those who assist people in grief. Bo’s Place offers the only free on-going grief support program in the greater Houston area for children and their families. As a former attendee with my family and past board member I can tell you we are lucky to have this resource in our community.
Nick Finnegan Counseling Center is a non-profit based in Houston, Texas, providing professional counseling, support and referrals for everyone regardless of finances or age. Six years to the day of our accident Susan and Bill Finnegan lost their oldest son Nick. As a way to honor their son and carry on his legacy, the counseling center was created. As a board member, it has been exciting to watch the center grow.
The Center for Complicated Grief, part of the Columbia University School of Social Work, is dedicated to improving the lives of people suffering from complicated grief by helping clinicians and the general public learn how to recognize complicated grief. The Center was established in 2013 to disseminate information about a short-term efficacious treatment for this condition. In the early 1990s, while I was beginning my journey into grief, Kathy Shear was establishing a pilot project for people stuck in the grieving process. Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT) now has the strongest evidence-based treatment for grief of any grief treatment in the world. I am honored to be associated with her and her amazing colleagues.
VOICES helps families heal after tragedy, a vital mission that began after 9/11. Today, the organization continues to address the long-term needs of those impacted by 9/11, commemorates the 2,977 lives lost, and promotes national preparedness. In addition, through VOICES Center of Excellence for Community Resilience, they conduct research and training as well as assist communities impacted by other tragedies. I am fortunate to know and work with Mary Fetchet, the Founding Director and driving force behind VOICES. She is a clinical social worker who co-founded the 9/11 advocacy organization following the death of her 24-year-old son, Brad, in the attacks on the World Trade Center.
Isa is an author, bereavement social worker, health educator, and patient advocate. She is a cystic fibrosis survivor and lung transplant recipient who also lost her twin sister to cancer and co-wrote with her sister, "The Power of Two: A Twin Triumph over Cystic Fibrosis”. Of everyone I’ve know she does not take life for granted. Her TED talk on grief will inspire you.
For The Therapist
CareSearch (palliative care) Bereavement Search Filter for use in PubMed, free online version of Medline. Clinical Evidence section of CareSearch website. The site will explain about the Bereavement Search Filter and how to access: https://www.caresearch.com.au/caresearch/tabid/80/Default.aspx
Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding How Men and Women Grieve, by Kenneth Doka & Terry Martin
Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered, by Bruce D. Perry
BRIEF: Reflections on Childhood, Trauma and Society, by Bruce D. Perry
Collaborative Treatment of Traumatized Children and Teens: The Trauma Systems Therapy Approach, by Glenn N. Saxe, B. Heidi Ellis, & Julie B. Kaplow
Companioning the Bereaved, by Alan D. Wolfelt
Grief and bereavement in contemporary society: Bridging research and practice, by Robert A. Neimeyer
Grief Is A Journey; Finding Your Path Through Loss, by Dr. Kenneth Doka
Healing Through The Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair, by Miriam Greenspan
Helping the Bereaved College Student, by David E. Balk
Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping, by Robert A. Neimeyer
Meaning Reconstruction & the Experience of Loss (American Psychological Association), edited by Robert A. Neimeyer
Psychoneuroplasticity Protocols for Addiction, by Frank Lawlis & Laura Martinez
Techniques of Grief Therapy: Assessment and Intervention, by Robert A. Neimeyer
The Body Keeps the Score; Brain, Mind, And Body in the Healing Of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
The Mindful Therapist, by Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others, by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk
Treating Traumatic Bereavement: A Practitioner's Guide, by Laurie Anne Pearlman, Camille B. Wortman, Catherine A. Feuer, Christine H. Farber & Therese A. Rando
Unbroken Brain, by Maia Szalavitz
Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Eliminating Symptoms at Their Roots Using Memory Reconsolidation, by Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic, and Laurel Hulley
Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, by Peter A. Levine
Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, by Robert A. Sapolsky
For The Client
And a Sword Shall Pierce Your Heart: Moving from Despair to Meaning after the Death of a Child, by Charlotte Mathes.
A Broken Heart Still Beats, by Anne McCracken & Mary Semel
Comfort: A Journey Through Grief, by Ann Hood
Disaster Falls, by Stephen Gerson
The Empty Room: Understanding Sibling Loss, by Elizabeth DeVita Raeburn
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir, by Elizabeth McCracken
The Gift of Grief: Finding Peace, Transformation, and Renewed Life After Great Sorrow, by Matthew D. Gewirtz
Gift of the Red Bird: The Story of a Divine Encounter, by Paula D’Arcy
A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis
Grieving Mindfully, by Sameet Kumar
Healing Through The Dark Emotions, by Miriam Greenspan
Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body, by Peter Levin.
It’s Ok That You are Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss In A Culture That Doesn’t Understand, by Megan Devine (Coming October 2017) Website: http://www.refugeingrief.com
If Only, by Carol Geithner
Lament For A Son, Nicholas Wolterstorff
Levels of Life, by Julian Barnes
Making Toast: A Family Story, by Roger Rosenblatt
Mindfulness for Prolonged Grief. A Guide to Healing After Loss When Depression, Anxiety, and Anger Won’t Go Away, by Sameet M. Kumar
Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss, by Hope Edelman
Open to Hope: Inspirational Stories of Healing After Loss, by Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley
Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, And Finding Joy, by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant Website: https://optionb.org
Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss And Love, by Anna Whiston-Donaldson
Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise And The Brain, by John J. Ratey with Eric Hagerman
The Other Side of Complicated Grief: Hope in the Midst of Despair, by Rhonda O’Neill, R.N
The Places That Scare You: A Guide To Fearlessness in Difficult Times, by Pema Chödrön
The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion
You Are The Mother of All Mothers: A Message of Hope For The Grieving Heart, by Angela Miller Website: A Bed For My Heart: https://abedformyheart.com
Walking the Night Road: Coming of Age in Grief, by Alexandra Butler
When Your Friend Is Grieving, by Paula D’Arcy
When Bad Things Happen To Good People, by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner
For The Children
A Little Bit of Rob, by Barbara J. Turner (Author) and Marni Backer (Illustrator)
Badger’s Parting Gifts, by Susan Varley
Don't Despair on Thursdays!: The Children's Grief-Management Book ,(The Emotional Impact Series) by Adolph Moser (Author) and David Melton (Illustrator)
Everett Anderson’s Goodbye, by Lucille Clifton (Author) and Ann Grifalconi (Illustrator)
Healing Your Grieving Heart: For Kids, by Alan D. Wolfelt
How I Feel: A Coloring Book for Grieving Children, by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.d
I Miss you: A First Look at Death, by Pat Thomas (author) and Leslie Harker (Illustrator)
I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand – A Child’s Guide to Grief and Loss, by Pat Palmer (Author) and Dianne O’Quinn Burke (Illustrator)
Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children, by Bryan Mellonie (Author) and Robert Ingpen (Illustrator)
Not the End, by Mari Dombkowski
Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss (Elf-Help Books for Kids), by Michaelene Mundy (Author) and R. W. Alley (Illustrator)
Samantha Jane’s Missing Smile, by Julie Kaplow and Donna Pincus (Authors) and Beth Spiegel (Illustrator)
Tear Soup, by Pat Schwiebert, and Chuck DeKlyen (Authors), and Taylor Bills (Illustrator)
The Brightest Star, by Kathleen Maresh Hemery (Author) and Ron Boldt (Illustrator)
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, by Leo Buscaglia
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, by Judith Viorst
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death, by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
When Someone Dies, by Sharon Greenlee (Author) and Bill Drath (Illustrator)
For The Teen
Fire in My Heart, Ice in My Veins: A Journal for Teenagers Experiencing a Loss, by Enid Samuel Traisman, MSW
Healing Your Grieving Heart, by Alan D. Wolfelt
Healing Your Grieving Heart: For Teens, by Alan D. Wolfelt, Phd
Not the End, by Mari Dombkowski
Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love, by Earl A. Grollman
You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk about Life after the Loss of a Parent, by Lynne B. Hughes
Grief Support Organizations (Borrowed from Katherine Shear/Center for Complicated Grief)
A website that encourages open and honest discussion about living with grief and loss at any stage during the process.
Platform for sharing your story, how to and advice columns that explore different aspects of grief and bereavement
A community of young adults dedicated to transforming life after loss from an isolating experience into one marked by community support, candid conversation, and forward movement.
Join a table, start a table
A site dedicated to promoting grief education, exploration, and expression in both practical and creative ways.
Information on types of grief and loss, self-care, how-to’s, tips for supporting someone who is grieving, photo sharing, and more
An online forum to support people who have experienced loss, to help them cope with their pain, heal their grief and invest in their future.
Articles, video, and podcasts on bereavement
Website dedicated to helping people early in their grief journey to find the resources they need.
Articles, support group locator
Loss of a child
Offering friendship, understanding, and hope to bereaved parents, siblings, grandparents, and other family members during the natural grieving process after a child has died.
Chapter locator, live chats, closed Facebook groups
Offering support, understanding, compassion and hope especially to the newly bereaved be they bereaved parents grandparents or siblings struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of their children, grandchildren or siblings.
Chapter locator, articles and poems
Committed to providing emotional support and assistance to parents and other survivors of homicide victims.
Monthly support meetings, advocacy and court accompaniment
Loss of a Spouse
Website dedicated to providing widows and widowers with information and support.
Information specific to losing a spouse, share your story
Online resource that facilitates communication between people about their shared experiences of grief, survival, and recovery after the death of a spouse or life partner.
Online chat, message boards, FAQs
Loss of a Loved One by Suicide
Dedicated to bringing people together to prevent suicide, and to help family and friends bereaved by suicide.
In-person and online support group locator, peer outreach network, information on how find a therapist, opportunities for getting involved with the organization
A non-profit organization operating in Italy that provides support for people who have lost a loved one to suicide through specialized information and expert consultation.
Assessment, individual and group psychotherapy, and online support groups
A nationwide network of professionals and volunteers who share ideas, information and resources with each other to better support the grieving children and families they serve.
Online education, annual symposium on children’s grief, database of local and national children’s bereavement support programs and camps
Committed to raising the standard of care while increasing access to services. Combining knowledge of child development, expertise in the full range of child traumatic experiences, and dedication to evidence-based practices, the NCTSN changes the course of children’s lives by changing the course of their care.
Information for parents on trauma and getting help
A non-profit organization supporting programs that provide comfort, hope and healing to children affected by loss and family addiction.
Camp Erin, Camp Mariposa
Supports parentally bereaved children and teens in continuing traditions they shared with their deceased parent. The Tradition Program is national and currently available to the more than 2 million eligible young people living in the USA.
Bereaved Young Adults
A non-profit organization dedicated to supporting college students grieving the illness or death of a loved one.
Campus chapter locator, college grief information
Bereaved Military Families
TAPS offers compassionate care to all those grieving the death of a loved one serving in our Armed Forces.
Peer mentoring, survivor helpline, online support, seminars, camps and retreats